Tout à coup

Much of what we had has been lost. Sent to a depth that cannot be reached. But upon this ridge where now we gather as family. I see that we also have gained muched. As the sun rises from the east and a new beginning is seen, great hope rises for the future. It has thus given us strength in our expectant future loss, because it is now known that loss can be gain. Everytime a thief steals from you and still you persist in trying; you win. It is a simple path though difficult to tread upon, its this life that I consider. Maybe you have made peace with all your secret hurt, where as I have still have much to learn. I know it is but a matter of perspective to put to rest those things which bother my side.



Often I write not in understanding, but to understand; tossing out my thoughts like bones and reading their encrypted message. Only I have the need to understand myself, because I am the one I have to live with. Sometimes I view myself as two people, the one you all see and it may be unto shame that I pretend. Because I know what harsh thoughts or words may break my weak disposition. As of now I think of how weak I feel, how frail. I do not know my own strength or rather my strength in you. It seems I find my identity not just within myself, but within those around me. When I am alone it feels as if this weakness is the only standing truth. But with you, I have a past, a present and future. I have experience and I have substance. In my solitude I debase. I look past all my outer rims that so often distract you and I get to the very center. To the man as a person that is neither male or female and there is this chaos. Emotions and thoughts. I need to understand.