LIT 110

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Changing of a Heart

I took it as it was something to be had. But I only deceived myself and spent my days with it at my side. Little did I know how it weakly shimmered and its thin substance was everyday on the brink of disappearance. I looked to the horizon full of hope and thoughtless happiness, it was nothing I had fought for or by any force claimed as my own. In this life I cared for nothing it all came to me, none of it a was conquered. The day today was ending and I knew tomorrow was already anticipated to be peaceful as always. I walked away from that shimmering mist knowing it would follow, expecting it to follow. It always did. It would never leave me. I took to bed in the forest as I always did, the mild climate sustained its temperate conditions day and night. I did not fear the cold or the heat. i did not fear thirst or hunger. I would never know the consequences of my careless living.

I went to sleep quickly that night with the soft ground holding me delicately in its earthy arms. In a dream the mist glided lightly with me into a vibrant sky. High in the wispy clouds we basked in the brilliance of the high noon sun. Fearlessly I took to the sky, Taris fallowed slowly. Taris was the mist and in my dream he became a man. He looked strong, reserved, yet it was a calm of a lion who knew none could challenge him. I was confident as I looked at the world beneath me. "Together Taris, you and I will conquer the world". He smiled nodding his shaven head in compliance. In this world though there was nothing to conquer, but everything we saw was ours. From the sea bed, to the highest mountain peak. It was all ours. There existed no one to defy our dominance. For a long time we rested in the great power we had over all creation. "Taris, this is our creation, this is what we made". He nodded. I grew to know the rhythms of the earth, the pounding tides and the fierce winds. The devastation of an earthquake and an eruption of a volcano became displays of my power. I could no longer recognize that I caused none it. Over time I looked at Taris as a nuisance. He was always following me. I despised his calm reserve and even began to dislike his compliance. Why did he have to always agree with me? In my dream I flew to far side of the Earth far from the place we called our home. I smiled in a new kind of freedom. Yet as I turned to revel in my solitude there he floated. Calm. Powerful. Silent. I became so furious I couldn't speak. To me he became my master, watching my every step. I reached a conclusion out of my rapidly increasing paranoia that he was jealous of me. I began to have fits of outburst and rage against Taris. Soon I could tell that my anger started to spark agitation in Taris, it was the only thing I feared. It was like watching small cracks forming before an earthquake. Where once the earth had been so pristine and calm. I saw something inside Taris shift when he would no longer smile at me and even felt the ominous terror when he would no longer look at me. Nonetheless he followed me as always, he became like a weight when I flew and when I swam I could vividly imagine his iron like hands clamping to my heals and dragging me to the cold depths. Taris... when did this happen I thought. In a praire it was no longer a simple happiness in the tranquil waves of the grass. It was only a mockery of my inner turmoil. Suddenly as if my mind was a pane a glass my thoughts shattered with the abrupt realization. I felt the ground, it bunched in the curling of my fists. I breathed out hot air until my lungs were empty and I gasped for air in panic. The air was cold, no it was warm, but if felt cold as sweat formed all over my body. It all felt so...so...real! I wasn't in a dream anymore. Taris! The sharp feeling of terror pierced my heart, I felt like I was going fall off the planet. Taris! The horizon was hazy. I tried to run; stomping slowly across the ground, it hurt to run I was so heavy. The forest behind loomed out to me, from the recesses crooked branches reached out to me. I felt empty and cold. The world felt empty and cold. "TARIS"! I screamed.