Feelers

Well since I have not written here in a while I would like to begin. :) As of right now I am skipping class for the sheer fun of it and would like to continue my day with as little disturbances as possible. These days I feel overwhelmed by all that I have to do and by all the encompassing tasks that must be completed. It is hard to know where to begin and I have come to understand that action is the only proactive thing I can do at this point. I am very serious these days, at least when I write. Everything is dark and dreary, I don't know how I can make the jokes I make. I won't pride myself with being clever or at all lighthearted. Maybe it is more for the sake of the other person and sort of a defense mechanism for myself. So, the person does not see how I truly feel. That would be a great misfortune; if someone where to see how I felt. I think that person would be harsh and not at all sensitive to what I am feeling. Mistrust. Yes I am very distrustful. I will let you see how pretty my house and all the work I put into making it. However you will never see the inside and that is where the possibility of you seeing it does terrify me very much. As ardently as I wish for this to be a fairy tale it is not. It is what I have contemplated on very much and have made the preceding conclusions. But controvesy strikes me where I am! Am I not showing how I feel. Oh much like a message in a bottle. However, you do not and cannot understand the complete scope of my feeling with this language. I would not do it if I did not trust it. Stranger you are and stranger still your response, you wouldn't send that would you?