Dauntless

I am love and I've got a thing for you. No matter how you run you cannot escape my grasp. Gonna have you forever. Then in the pit of despair the light you shine I will see and make a hearty laugh. I knew you wouldn't leave me. Gonna have you forever. They say I am so good and when compared to them maybe I am just a little better. But what kind of thought is that... "a good person". No one is good except the Lord and in my heart I will always believe that. No matter how far I run from Him and even try to hide, it will always be what I believe. Ha ha you with me in this dank pit, both of us are dirty and broken... me good? hahaha How can dirt be good and how can I not contaminate the purest waters. Of this I am sure and then cleave for the under blessed fun, of hope that never weeps. But that other Hope drags me along like a destroyed doll with no mercy or escape from the thoughts of future that bring to this meandering state of stillness. I pray you know where you are going and in the silence will hear of the places we need to be. For now you are my leader Hope, my master and my king. Because I am lost and feel there exists no place where I can hide. So now we run, and run forgetting the breathless gasps and the painful hints of exhaustion. I am actually dying. But I run to live. Through the dim forest I catch the bright afterimage of your face, your laughing and I can hear the echoes of that sound. It terrified me and I weeped so hard I couldn't breath as my body was still hanging limp from the shoulders of the one I clung to. Who was it that held me? Who was it that dragged me along with such thoughtlessness, I hated her. But her face was shapeless and she brought me nightmares and tiredness. I laughed at my own insanity, for surely she will not leave me to die in this wilderness. For surely we have yet to glimpse the sunrise and it will obliterate this darkness.  For now there are just shadows.

Feelers

Well since I have not written here in a while I would like to begin. :) As of right now I am skipping class for the sheer fun of it and would like to continue my day with as little disturbances as possible. These days I feel overwhelmed by all that I have to do and by all the encompassing tasks that must be completed. It is hard to know where to begin and I have come to understand that action is the only proactive thing I can do at this point. I am very serious these days, at least when I write. Everything is dark and dreary, I don't know how I can make the jokes I make. I won't pride myself with being clever or at all lighthearted. Maybe it is more for the sake of the other person and sort of a defense mechanism for myself. So, the person does not see how I truly feel. That would be a great misfortune; if someone where to see how I felt. I think that person would be harsh and not at all sensitive to what I am feeling. Mistrust. Yes I am very distrustful. I will let you see how pretty my house and all the work I put into making it. However you will never see the inside and that is where the possibility of you seeing it does terrify me very much. As ardently as I wish for this to be a fairy tale it is not. It is what I have contemplated on very much and have made the preceding conclusions. But controvesy strikes me where I am! Am I not showing how I feel. Oh much like a message in a bottle. However, you do not and cannot understand the complete scope of my feeling with this language. I would not do it if I did not trust it. Stranger you are and stranger still your response, you wouldn't send that would you?